Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Randomize
