Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
