i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
