So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
