My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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