i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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