If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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