morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
