I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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