one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
