What tipped you off? The sombrero?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
