i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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