I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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