i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I understand Curling. That high.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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