it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
