I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
