Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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