Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Randomize
