At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
