it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
