let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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