I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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