Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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