I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
