I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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