Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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