I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
