Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
