i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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