Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
