tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
