you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Best friends brother. Beat that.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
