Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
