Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
