I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
