turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
