He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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