Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
im holly from the hills drunk
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
