i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
