RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
