The best revenge is premature balding
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
