Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
