So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
