I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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