Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
