He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
