Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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