I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Randomize
