wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
