Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
